Aug 10, 2010

Some Limericks Won't Stand the Test of Time

A young beauty queen called Claire Voyant
whose bosom was ample, and bouyant
on the cat-walk one day
declared "Oh, I say . . .!"
(There's NO RHYME!  How very annoyant!)

Try again!

A young beauty queen named Claire Voyant
whose bosom was ample, and bouyant
said "Now I'll look a sap!
I've broken a strap!"
(There's no rhyme for 'brassiere' either)

21 comments:

  1. She worked out at the gym,
    and often went to swim.
    She used her wits:
    now they can stand on their own,
    her beautiful ...

    (Oh, same problem as yours: can't find an English RHYME for the ample padding of her brasserie! How very annoyant!)

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  2. A young beauty queen named Clare Voyant
    whose bosum was ample, and bouyant
    set men's hearts afire,
    and kindled desire
    to the point that they thought her flamboyant.

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  3. Deborah . . . I had pencilled in "flamboyant" but thought it was TOO much like "bouyant" . . and so decided to be Very Silly instead. But yours is lovely. Except . . . what's a "bosum"? I know, it's a bosun's bosom!

    Britta . . . I'm in awe of how you write rejoinders that are funny, in rhyme, and in your second language. And good to see you knew when to st. . . !

    And where's Jinksy? She usually here when the nonsense gets going.

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  4. :D LOL..this is hilarious...

    A young beauty queen called Claire Voyant
    whose bosom was ample, and bouyant
    sets mercury rising...
    and they have a problem with global warming...

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  5. Erratic . . . I'm ecstatic! Can we sneak in a new line4?
    "sets the mercury rising
    so it isn't surprising
    they have a problem etc."

    I like limericks that fall on their faces. The first one I came across went

    "The was a young poet from Tring(*)
    whose poems lacked one vital element.
    He tried every time
    To make the words fit
    But the lines were too short."

    (*) Tring . . town in Hertfordshire, UK.

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  6. I'm so glad I came to this late-
    I've had so much work on my plate-
    that one more mad poem
    might drive me from hoem
    and where would I be then, old mate?

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  7. Deb-
    A young beauty queen named Clare Voyant
    whose bosom was ample, and bouyant
    set men's hearts afire,
    and kindled desire
    so the flames then required a hydrant.

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  8. *sigh* what would we do with Jinksy??? Lordy, but she's brilliant.
    Yes, yes, Dr. I KNEW flamboyant was too much like bouyant but 1) it was late 2) I was feeble 3) I hit publish too soon.
    But without my late, feeble, precipitous efforts, we wouldn't have had JINKSY'S FABULOUS LAST LINE!

    I wish I had thought of ample and bouyant bosuns. But a bit risqué, non even for here???

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  9. Bouyant bosuns sound like a necessity for the Naval Fraternity, Deb? (And by golly, you're on the ball with your comebacks!)

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  10. Listen you two . . . I'm trying to run a serious blog here! Might as well get me coat! Oh well, I suppose I could join in - just time before tea.

    A young beauty queen named Clare Voyant
    whose bosom was ample, and bouyant
    set men's hearts afire,
    and kindled desire
    (They looked like a plump pair of croissants.)

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  11. @Doc that was good...

    Haha loved this mad banter...
    You guys are great...I loved all those versions...Doc,Britta,Deb,Jinksy....

    Jinksy "so the flames then required a hydrant" was super last line...ROFL!

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  12. You never said we could switch languages for just one word! Mrs Trellis would deduct a point for that, I bet.

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  13. Well yer see Jinksy . . in this uncivilised neck o'the Yarkshire woods we call them "croysants." ALMOST rhymes with "bouyant."

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  14. Erratic Thoughts . . . have a look at blog FRIDGE SOUP. It's mad over there, too! Same guys plus some others. (It's linked from my sidebar. Be good to see you there.)

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  15. I am appalled that you would refer to Fridge Soup and its denizens as 'mad'. Speak for yourself, Dr.

    .....set men's heart afire
    and kindled desire
    to the point that their dreams became Freudant.



    all right, all right. that's it. Jinksy wins this round, Fo Sho!

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  16. I'm retiring - my rapier mind has become blunted at last!

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  17. P.S. But not my fangs!! LOL. See The Fridge for explanation.

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  18. Oh well - I'll try . . .

    A young beauty queen named Clare Voyant
    Whose bosom was ample and buoyant
    Decided one day
    To throw it away -
    Her decision was rather foudroyant.

    (I'll leave quietly now)

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  19. Jabblog-
    I ididn't realise foudroyant was an ordinary word - I thought it was the name of a ship my Dad served on in the Royal Navy! Silly me!

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  20. Oh, now that I understood what you are looking for (next time I'll just wait for two or three comments) I have to bemoan - which is almost(!) the meaning (like "weepy"), that in your beautiful English language the German word "larmoyant" doesn't exist. So sorry - could have used it well...

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  21. As I only live just 'down the road' from Tring, can I throw in my 'pennyworth'....

    "There was once an old person of Tring
    Who, whenever they asked him to sing,
    Replied "Isn't it odd?
    I can never tell `God
    Save the Weasel' from `Pop Goes the King'."

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for stopping by. To make life easier for you I have turned off the new indecipherable and time-wasting verification words. Would you care to "feedback" to Blogger and complain about them, like I did?