Jun 28, 2013

Inspired By Another's 55

and by G-Man, ever on the look out for 55 words of wisdom.

I have 3 pairs of orange socks and 3 pairs lime green.  I open my sock drawer in darkness.  How many must I take out to ensure I picked a matching pair?

1.  Give them to Other Mary.  She'll happily lose them for you.
2.  Surely you can see socks like those in the dark?
3.  Three. (Why?)

Jun 23, 2013

Ladies . . Look Away Now

Tess's prompt brings out the best in Kubrik and the worst in FTSE(*)

Says he "May I give them a squeeze?"
Says she "You referring to these?
Well listen here, Chum
in years yet to come
they'll prove useful for warming my knees."

Stanley Kubrick for Look Magazine, 1949 

(*) Remember . .  he's a Doctor. He knows about these things.

Jun 19, 2013

Mag 173

Tess uses this delightful fantasy by Marc Chagall to float our boats this week.

The Promenade, 1918, by Marc Chagall 

The lassie declared to her mate
"I think it's time I lost some weight."
They didn't see that
she really meant "fat."
Now she can't get around
with both feet on the ground
'cos she's lighter than air
and it's really not fair -
Her husband's been told
he must keep a tight hold
or she could drift far off into space. (*)

(*) I can't claim originality.  The idea that "losing weight" isn't what the overweight really need to do was used by H.G.Wells in 1903 in  a short story "The Truth About Pyecraft."

Jun 12, 2013

The Locked Room Mystery

For Mag 172 Tess unlocks our creative urges with this intriguing picture

Charleston Farmhouse Door 

Chorus:     (to be sung to this well known tune)

"Oh dear, what can the matter be?
 Simpleforth got locked in the lavatory
 He's been there since early last Saturday.
 Nobody knew he was there."

He wanted to finish his homework for history.
He thought that the Small Room would offer some privacy
Who would have thought that the door lock was all faulty.
And only the one place to sit.

Chorus:    "Oh, dear . . . etc"

He eyed the resources, remembered some trickery.
You climb knotted bedsheets to make your escapery.
But what came to hand was a roll of white papery
soft but not terribly strong.

Chorus:    "Oh dear . . . etc"

But Simpleforth never has lacked ingenuity.
By standing where you'd sit he soon gained ascendency,
climbed the partition twixt his and the neighbourly
loo - Now he's flushed with success.

and one last time, folks

Chorus:   "Oh dear . . . etc"