Jun 12, 2013

The Locked Room Mystery

For Mag 172 Tess unlocks our creative urges with this intriguing picture

Charleston Farmhouse Door 

Chorus:     (to be sung to this well known tune)

"Oh dear, what can the matter be?
 Simpleforth got locked in the lavatory
 He's been there since early last Saturday.
 Nobody knew he was there."

He wanted to finish his homework for history.
He thought that the Small Room would offer some privacy
Who would have thought that the door lock was all faulty.
And only the one place to sit.

Chorus:    "Oh, dear . . . etc"

He eyed the resources, remembered some trickery.
You climb knotted bedsheets to make your escapery.
But what came to hand was a roll of white papery
soft but not terribly strong.

Chorus:    "Oh dear . . . etc"

But Simpleforth never has lacked ingenuity.
By standing where you'd sit he soon gained ascendency,
climbed the partition twixt his and the neighbourly
loo - Now he's flushed with success.

and one last time, folks

Chorus:   "Oh dear . . . etc"



  1. And you may feel flushed with success yourself, Doc, at this masterful libretto... Thanks for leading the singing! LOL :)

  2. I wouldn't trust ancient locks . . .

  3. This is fantastic haha I have been locked in an old bathroom is a restaurant eeps

  4. Well thanks for the earworm! Though I'm not one for 'lavatory humour' usually.

  5. Can't stop laughing .. oh dear, what can the matter be?

  6. Oh dear, this was fantastic!

  7. Excellent - reminded me of the Three Old Ladies.
    You got me singing - and that is good!
    Anna :o]

    1. Thank you. The ditty is "By Doctor FTSE out of Three Old Ladies." Why is that delightful "Three Old Ladies" song never sung in the Albert Hall on the "Last Night of the Proms"?

  8. I've locked myself in water closets on several occasions. I pays to know where the key is. Your toilet ditty is quite witty.

    Flash 55 - The Accidental Gardener

  9. This is hilarious! I would re-post this some time soon as more need to read this! Made my day!!

  10. Thank you (for this), Captain Darling.

    I've made a note of your blog in my diary. It doesn't simply says: "Bugger" ... but I want to read more!

    1. Thank you, Nana Jo. I would return the "want to read more" compliment, but the link from your profile to your home page returns "Blog has been removed." I hope this is temporary?


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