POW has emerged from the shadows! Rallentanda asks for poems about what the poet "is a goose at"
The Perils of Courtship
I am a goose(*) at goosing(**)
At the tender age of four
I sought to goose my sister.
She hurled me to the floor.
I next attempted goosing -
Expelled from my co-ed
for slinking round the Girls' End
and trying to goose their Head.
Another go at goosing
led to my first job-loss -
I popped into her office
and goosed my red-haired boss.
I lost my first fiancee.
She thought that I was queer
(Reader - finish this yourself!
This last line ends with "rear")
There's never a right moment
or that's the way it seems
to creep up close behind her
and goose "She Of My Dreams."
The lesson for would-be goosers
it seems to me, is this.
Don't poke them in their hinderparts.
They'd much prefer a kiss.
(*) Goose (n) (slang) A person not proficient, nay utterly hopeless, at some specified activity
(**) Goose (v.trans.) (UK slang)To sharply poke or pinch someone's buttocks. Derived from a goose's inclination to bite a retreating intruder's hindquarters. (Oh, how middle clarss! if you mean "bum" FGS say "bum")
great one...
ReplyDeleteLol yes.... think I'd much prefer a kiss too. :O) Fun poem. :)
ReplyDeleteGoosey Goosey Gander
ReplyDeleteWhither shall I wander?
Upstairs,downstairs
And in my lady's chamber
There I met an old man
who wouldn't say his prayers
So I pulled him by the left leg
and threw him down the stairs
Your poem gives a whole new meaning to this nursery rhyme.
" She of My Dreams" aka
"She who must be obeyed"
must be a very patient woman. I suppose the fact that you are filthy rich helps!
Rall . . rich, naaawww! Filthy . . probably.
ReplyDelete