Do Not Tell Bedtime Stories after Taking Strong Drink
Hogwarts School is in Toytown,
by famous Gingerbread Cottage
where Three Little Piggies, short and fat
fed poisoned apples to a little prat
called Snow White, who, in disguise
looked like your Granny, you would surmise,
but for her huge white fangs and cloak
of red and four-and-twenty pies.
But of course, this is clearly lies,
which is why your truly has
a long wooden nose. Do you suppose
some Charming Prince might pass this way
and peering through a shortsighted fog
land me a kiss one day
that turns me into a frog, and say . . .
"Oh Mirror, Mirror on the wall
who is that Beauty in the hall
asleep in her glass box?"
Why, yes! 'Tis Beastly Mister Fox
indulging his life long habit
of hounding poor Brer Rabbit.
And so farewell, my friends.
For time heeds not its own expenditure
and as the Seven Dwarves shoulder their pr***s
(Ooops! Sorry, Kiddies, I mean their PICKS)
and go to their appointed ends , I
must mount my broomstick
and fly . . fly . . . fly . . .
Thanks to Rachel Fox for this week's prompt.
You had fun no question! I was sling-shotting all my faves until I decided to just come in for a landing!ReplyDelete
What a gem. I'll be wanting a strong drink now to chase away the vision of those dwarves....though I've had my suspicions all along. Appreciate the confirmation. And the delightful verse.ReplyDelete
Now you see it, and now you don't...interesting updates, but Harry Potter was never one of your childhood pals, I bet! LOL :)ReplyDelete
Ha! You got them all in there FTSE.Well done!ReplyDelete
I'm reading this to my kids tonight! Well....ReplyDelete
And what about little red riding hood?ReplyDelete
You weren't taken in by all their sweet talk...were you?!ReplyDelete
Unfortunately your poem is the perfect argument why you SHOULD take strong drink before telling bedtime stories. Wonderful!ReplyDelete
Love this twisted tale!ReplyDelete
Snow White always looked like a sultry type to meReplyDelete
Wouldn't surprise a bit if those dwarves were
stunted flamenco dancers.
One and all . . . I have taken all your kind comments on board. I have taken strong drink on board. I could go overboard for one of you, but I ain't saying which. I dedicate the poem to the International Convention of Stunted Flamenco Dancers.ReplyDelete
What a shame you missed out Peter Pan and Captain Hook - you might have been forced to walk the plank, as opposed to going overboard for dubious reasons...Tots of rum are not such a good bedtime drink as cocoa, if you are contmplating a midnight swim...ReplyDelete
Thinks- I guess you must have some rum tots if they have to listen to tales like this before they go to sleep!
Haha, witty and clever and funny - and now I'll never be able to read a story book ever again that has dwarves in it!ReplyDelete