Jan 31, 2012

Tess at Willow Manor offers this picture to get our creative juices going.

Walissy Kandinsky  Red Spot II

The Scourge of the Staff Room offers another . . .

Leviticus P. Simpleforth   Red Spot I

"What have we here, Simpleforth?"
"A picture, sir."
"I can see it's a picture, Simpleforth.  What, forgive me for asking, is it a picture of?"
"It's another red spot, sir.  I mean . .  it's a picture of another red spot."
"Simpleforth, I know I'm getting old and my memory of last week's art class may be growing dim, but did I not ask you to apply yourself armed with canvas and brushes in modo Kandinsky?"
"I thought about that, sir. Honest I did. Then I thought that re-interpreting Red Spots might be a better outlet for my talents. I'm not really into boomerangs and artificial knee caps. Even red ones."
"Your talents, Simpleforth, have so far remained well below your kneecaps.  And this bloodshot eyeball isn't doing much to make them more visible. Please explain your . . um . . I hesitate to say . . um . . daub."
"Good one, sir!"
"I thought I implied it wasn't good at all?"
"No sir, I meant your joke was good."
"I'm not in  the habit of making jokes. Particularly when viewing  . . "
"You said my eyeball wasn't making things more visible. Eyeball. Visible. I thought that was kind of funny. And just now you added 'viewing' "
"You can't waffle your way out of this, Simpleforth. The picture! Explain."
"Not much to explain really, sir. It's the Red Spot."
"The Red Spot?"
"Yes sir.  The Great Red Spot on planet Jupiter.  It's a hyrogen hurricane. Been blowing for hundreds of years. The winds blow round it at 950 kilometres per hour. Blow anybody's hairpiece off. Sir."
"That's quite enough of that, young man!"
"Sorry sir.  Just sort of slipped off. Sorry. Mean slipped out. Out, I meant."
"I'm tempted to open my punishment book, Simpleforth.  Disobeying simple instructions as to what to paint. Waffling. Studied insolence. You'll end up painting double yellow lines in the road at his rate."
"Oh sir! I was only . . "
(Art master exits in search of punishment book. Simpleforth calls after him but sotto voce)
"I'll paint double yellow lines round planet Uranus if you like. Look nice that would. Real purty!"


Many more interpretations of Kandinsky's picture can be found here


  1. Yellow lines around Uranus??? ROFL

  2. This Red Spot is spot on, no matter how far out Jupiter and Uranus orbit. :)

  3. Great to see a post every once in a while that contains intelligence and wit - thanks!

  4. Your standards are in no way slipping, Doctor. I like the Simpleforths of this world. They tease authority figures.

  5. I laughed aloud three separate times while reading this.

    I shall leave it open as to where I found those laughs.

    Amusing, as always!!


  6. Berowne . . where did you see it, then? Tell us the URL. Or the Magpie number.

    Other Mary . . depends how you pronounce it, does it not? Hehe!

    Pearl . . awww, tell the folk where.

    Thanks all. Simpleforth will be back!

  7. This was excellent! I'm glad I stopped by.. I'll have to tip the driver...

  8. Dr. I like the back and forth of this piece. My second college writing professor was giving us some advice about argumentative writing, and this is what he said “ when stuck, acknowledge the subject, and that it is a very interesting subject, than ask if the reader has ever heard of ____, no, well than have I got a treat for you.” Very good piece, very!

  9. Well I haven't read the word 'daub' in many a year! I think I had an art teacher in high school who used it ... wonderful Magpie, Doctor.

  10. Dear Dr. FTSE: Critique can be brutal. Poor Simpleton. I do feel for the lad~!

    1. Madam- on the contrary - surely critique is essential if one wishes to improve>

    2. Simpleforth can well take care of himself. I feel sorry for the schoolmasters who have to deal with him.

  11. Funny and well put together. And I promise not to park on Uranus.

  12. I would improve if my fingers didn't take over so often! That ">" was meant to be a "?" in my last comment. :)

  13. Fabulous - I like your prescriptions Doc!

  14. Having dealt with classes of smart-arsed youngsters, I too feel sorry for the masters! Wonderful example of how to write a convincing conversation. Doc.

  15. Ha! Very funny. I'm worried about those yellow lines! K.

  16. Oh, not the punishment book! Spot on!

  17. You had me giggling at Simpleforth...

  18. Fabuloso! I love clashing pedants! And I especially loved the hair-piece reference - put me in mind of a certain (red-nosed) headteacher that I knew / frightened the shit out of me.....!)

  19. did you say red spot or wet spot...

  20. smile ... an excellent write ... I will wait for simpleforth to be back, kinda like him :-)

  21. you have done your homework on the image well, which makes me think how I shall improve my own magpie tale, relating to the image itself.


    playful and creative tale, masterful delivery.

  22. Hello,
    How are you?
    Do you like challenges? I am sure you do, love what I see in your blog, excellent, beyond average, or outstanding talent...

    way to go.

    Share your talent with us by writing for our theme today, or share a random piece of poetry.

    Hope to see you soon!
    Best wishes.
    Happy Creative Writing,


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