Jan 17, 2012

Magpie Tales#100

This week, Tess's sets her prompt in stone.


Humpback:  "You look miserable. What's up?"
The Sculpt:  "Go away.  Leave me alone."
Humpback:  "You look like you lost a chest of dubloons and found a rusty anchor."
The Sculpt:  "Please. Leave me in peace..."  (Sobs)
Humpback:  "Now this won't do at all. Tears are lost in salt water.  Just tell old Humph all about it. A trouble shared and all that."
The Sculpt:   (Sighs, then) "See, I could've been a contender."
Humpback:  "A contender?"
The Scuplt:  "There's plenty of me. Thirty tons for a guess. I could've been a contender for the really important stuff."
Humpback:  "Important stuff?"
The Sculpt:  "Yeah!  I could've been the head of the Colossus of Rhodes.  I could've been part of the Great Lighthouse at Alexandria.  Or the back-end of that wassname. In the desert."
Humpback:  "The Sphinx?"
The Sculpt:  "That's the one!  I could've topped out the Great Pyramid at Giza."
Humpback:  "Been a Pointyhead, eh?"
The Sculpt:  "This isn't funny. If you find this funny, just swan off!"
Humpback:  "Sorry, sorry. . . "
The Sculpt:  "But what I really wanted was to be Zeus at Olympia. If you chip enough of me away, I reckon I'd look like one of Zeus's ears. Instead of which..."
Humpback:  "You know what I think?  You're doing a more useful job than bein' part of some old  Wonder of the Ancient World.  And you could've ended up much worse off."
The Sculpt:  "What could be worse than sitting in the sea waiting to turn into a coral reef?"
Humpback:  "You could've ended up crushed to half-inch aggregate for a freeway in Montana.  Can't be many fates worse'n that. Corals are all sorts of lovely colours. Montana's just red sandstone. Boring."
The Sculpt:  "Never thought of that.  I end up covered in pretty colours, while you . . "
Humpback:  " . . . I collect barnacles."
The Sculpt:  "You just come along any time and scrape them off on me."
Humpback:  "That's the spirit.  Is that a little smile breakin' out on those stony features? I do think it is. I'll be off then."
The Sculpt:  "Stop by any time. Don't be a stranger. Mind how you go now!"
(Humpback circles the sculpt before swimming away. He swats the water with his tail flukes, which knocks the sculpt off her pedestal and . . )
Humpback:   "Oh SHIT!"
The Sculpt:   "You clumsy prat! Now look at me . .!"
Humpback:   "Sorry. Sorry. But look at it this way. Now you're like that other wassname in the desert."
The Sculpt:   "What other wassname, you idiot?"
Humpback:   "That King Ozymandias."(*)
The Sculpt:   "But he's a colossal wreck."
Humpback:   "Exactly."

(*)  Read all about it!


  1. Can't resist saying "Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
    (Nothing personal though, Doc! LOL)

  2. *groan*
    back end of the Sphinx....colossal wreck? Oooh my, lol

  3. 'All is vanity' and 'Pride Comes Before A Fall' - I rest my case.

  4. ...didn't realize until too late that she didn't have it so bad after all!

  5. Loved it... another ride with Monty Python is possible!!!

  6. Lol.........and all she wanted was a chance to voice her statue-tory rights, too!

  7. I always say Oh Goody when I see that you have posted- and I am NEVER disappointed! Cheers!

  8. Clever clever write...I've come to expect as much...


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