Once again, Tess at Willow Manor delights writers with a picture to furnish their imaginations.
"I don't like the look of that, Smiddy. Not one little bit."
"Wasn't there yesterday, Boss."
"Worse than that. It wasn't there earlier on today."
"You're damn right, come to think of it. Whadya think?"
"Think we need back-up?"
"Could be somebody inside it, Boss."
"Good thinkin'. Just what I was thinkin'. Just the sort of place these hoodlums always hide out in. O.K. I'm goin' in. Smiddy - cover me."
(Footsteps as Boss crosses the street. )
"Come out with your hands up and lie on the ground face down. Lie on the f****ng ground!"
(There is no response from the settee or from inside the settee.)
"On a count of three, come out the goddam settee! One!"
(Smiddy joins Boss on the sidewalk in front of the settee.)
(Both heft their firearms and chamber a round.)
"We can claim it resisted arrest, Boss. Or the guy inside it did."
"Damn right! Three!"
(They look at each other and Boss nods. Both fire several rounds into the seat and back of the settee. Nothing happens.)
(Pause, then) "Got an idea, Boss! Ticket it for parking on a yellow line."
(A third voice enters)
"You guys blind or what? I'm not on the yellow line. And I'm not parked. I've been fly-tipped. On the sidewalk."
(Boss and Smiddy stare for a moment at the settee and at each other, then turn and scurry back to their patrol car and fire up the motor and rev away, tyres smoking. Three or four blocks later . . )
"Not a word, Smiddy. Not. A. Word back at the station-house. No incident report. Nothing. Just call the Cleansing and tell them get a dump truck down there."
(Smiddy, driving, looks in the rear-view mirror.)
"Boss! Jesus H., Boss! The settee . . . it's following us . . "
Drat! I smell something burning. Blogpals are invited to complete the story for me while I go investigate.
(Not vegetable soup, Doc? lol.)ReplyDelete
I hope the settee had a siren and a flashing light on one of its wings. With supercharged stuffing, it could overtake the cop car, slew across the road and bring it to a screeching halt...Thus turn the tables, as you might say!
You're close, Jinksy. In fact it follows them to the station-house and reports them for robbing it of all the nickels and dimes fallen down the back.ReplyDelete
Who knew such an innocent-looking piece of furniture could be so sinister?ReplyDelete
... and the settee becomes the next star of a Pixar production!ReplyDelete
Divan -- I mean, divine -- dialogue. :-)ReplyDelete
utterly brilliant...the sofa fights back..yes!!ReplyDelete
Settee is one hilarious word...ReplyDelete
Intelligence and Security can't be compromised ! They had to act fast even if it looked stupid. Wasting a few bullets is chicken feed. Compared to costs in terms of a security breach, it is acceptableReplyDelete
A very different take. Love the dialogue.ReplyDelete
Or perhaps it died in the middle of the highway from the bullet holes?ReplyDelete
...and compete with your imagination? impossible!ReplyDelete
my that was a rideReplyDelete
good one doc
really nice dialogue
haha...yeah i think this one would stay under wraps though i might have unloaded the rest of the clip into it just to be safe..ReplyDelete
You mean the settee was in full pur-suite?ReplyDelete
Doc, you make MT a pure pleasure to be a part of! I don't laugh out loud a lot, but I did today! What imagination!ReplyDelete
Dumb cops would have done better arresting it for "vagrancy" or "loitering with intent." But maybe those are not offences in the US?ReplyDelete
More sideways thinking, Doctor? Good story.ReplyDelete
Its so good to read one piece that refers to a settee and not a sofa.ReplyDelete
I can't shift this image now of a red settee hailing a taxi and saying, Follow that car ;-)
Stop! Wait! Don't shoot! It's just me looking for spare change under the cushions.ReplyDelete
I always said that settee was up to no good!ReplyDelete
You sure it wasn't a Rod Serling voice over they heard??ReplyDelete
Some settees are hard to dispose of- you've caught a good one here!ReplyDelete
Oh, no, not...The Comfy Couch (sorry, couldn't resist)! You would think a settee would stay put...ReplyDelete
I can imagine the settee breaking down the Boss's front door and ridiculing his choice of furniture ... or worseReplyDelete
Great fun Doctor
Isobel - I wish I'd thought of that!ReplyDelete
Sofa my two cents' worth, I must say that all these comments are couched in jovial terms deserving of such great conversation in the midst of an hilarious tale quite worthy of action on a Hollywood settee....er set!ReplyDelete
Every discard should have a voice..yes, let's stand up for settees.."Occupy Sofas"!!!!ReplyDelete
"this is getting VERY SILLY!"ReplyDelete
can't say we were't warned! haha!
Ah what fun...somethings won't let you discard them without a fight :)ReplyDelete
Oh, that was excellent!ReplyDelete
Sofa, so good! ;-)ReplyDelete
Always good stopping by here to have a laugh!
I'm afraid we have couched our comments in absurdity!ReplyDelete
Dear Dr FTSE: Very vivid! How could anyone improve on this! You want me to? Nah! You left off just right! Keep 'em guessing Smiddy!ReplyDelete
Excellent stuff Dr FTSE, excellent!ReplyDelete