Thinks: "Now if the tide is going out, the boat will be carried out with it, so unless she gets back with the choc ices pretty damn quick, we'll be stuck with no boat on the perishin' beach all night. And I left my cell-phone in the rowboat. And my swim shorts. When I dived out the perishin' boat I never expected to end up here! Alright for her. She waded ashore and asked me to let her bury me for a bit of fun. Why didn't I bury her? Why is it always me? How did I end up with three University degrees and still end up buried by my wife tit deep in sand? Why don't I think before I travel about in bloody rowboats? Why don't I think before I let people bury me? Why doesn't someone invent a voice-controlled rowboat so I could call out "Here Boat! Jaunty Jane or whatever your name is. Come and get me out!" Where's she got to? Bet she's eatin' my choc-ice as well as her own."
Thinks: "But on the other hand, if the tide is coming in, that will bring the boat closer and pretty soon I'll be able to grab it by the rowlocks and haul myself . . . Oh F**K! No I won't! 'Cos I'm stuck in this sand and no one to dig me out till she gets back. The tide will. And I'll be. Where is the bloody cow?"
Yells: "Au secours! Mayday! Anybody there? HELP!" etc.
I'm paddling my canoe to the rescue at this very moment! Hehehe! Thanks for yet another giggle, Doc.
ReplyDeleteIs wifey perhaps a trifle saddistic? Or is her tardiness due to the fact that the queue for choc-ices is overly long?
ReplyDeleteWill Jinksy's canoe arrive before his luck runs out? We may never know... Curses, curses, chiz, chiz as Molesworth do say.
A great take- thanks for the perspective!
ReplyDeleteThree Univeristy degrees are no guarantee of sense ...
ReplyDeletegreat fun, hope the chocs were still iced!
A terrible predicament, but this was just so damn funny and right now, I needed the laugh!
ReplyDeleteHope she gets back with the choc ice...I hear it brings bouyancy to any situation! You shall rise again!!
ReplyDeleteDoctor, Doctor ... you never fail to entertain us.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't I think before I let people bury me?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant line:) Really enjoyed this, thanks for the laugh.
well if he's waiting for her to get back with the choccy ices...he'll have a blessed long wait ... I think that's the sinking sands of Morecambe bay and there's always a long queue for Kate's ices!!!
ReplyDeleteWas it something you said?
ReplyDeleteA nice sense of fun here ... enjoyed the panic in the last line (but then that might be because I can be a bit mean)
ReplyDeleteLOL. Yes, it's awfully dark, but, I love it. : )
ReplyDeleteNow there is a predicament
ReplyDeleteThose ices could take all day to finish
University degrees down the drink
That's quite a pickle you've got yourself into.
ReplyDeleteWhat every you do DON'T PANIC! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThree University degrees and no common sense.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.
Must be a lawyer.
:)
I think he's out of luck big time. Clever write.
ReplyDeleteSo how long can you hold your breath?
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a pickle.
Bit of a pickle, I'd say, Doctor. Good Magpie.
ReplyDeleteoh you are surely doomed...
ReplyDeletehehe...
haha, u write the funniest stuff. good job, i'm off to read more!! :)
ReplyDeleteNo way out! Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteErick Flores
LOL! I needed that after getting a little depressed with the image and most of our responses to it.
ReplyDeleteNo panic, just clear, practical thought - Like it!
ReplyDeleteNope. Sorry. No nice way out of this one. A quick song and then I'm afraid it's the tide for you...
ReplyDeletePearl
no hope unless he can dig out using his teeth....and that's saying a mouthful!
ReplyDelete