Dragons don't like South East Iceland.
Far too cold, and not a nice land -
not like the nearer Hebrides
where dragons live on toasted cheese.
They smoke fish daily in area Bailey,
whereas in North and South Utsire(*)
they're fairly fierce and sailors fear a
serpent with a blazing smile
blowing fiery gales from far Fair Isle.
In Faroes, Forties, Fisher, Viking -
beware! Dragons could take a liking
to your mid-life muffin. They just might
toast it and take a German Bight.
But in Forth and Tyne and Thames and Humber
the dragons lunch on sea-cucumber.
In Dogger, famous for its Bank
their fireflames many lighters sank
but their scaly cousins in area Thames
are cool peace-loving dragogems
whose flaming breath warms beaches over
from Portland to Wight cliffs of Dover.
Lang syne in Plymouth, Francis Drake
used dragonian fire-power to bake
Spain's Armada. Light winds on Monday
mean dragon shoals from area Lundy
go cruising up St. George's channel
(It's not the "Irish Sea" That's flannel!)
and when they find the damsel's Trusty
Knight his armour will be all rusty
from salty water leaking in
with the Gulf Stream from cold Malin.
Just one Sole dragon, a real loose cannon
lives by himself in area Shannon.
He's called Fitzroy.
He's a naughty boy,
but if the cap Fitz, Roy will wear it
he's on his own. No need to share it . . .
In Trafalgar, Biscay and Fastnet
I think you might meet dragons, yet -
In Rockall
there are none at all.
(*) pron. with 3 syllables; Ut-see-ra
Nothing rusty about your Bight, Doctor, nor my blazing smile after reading this epic! Hhehehe! Listening to the shipping forecast will never be the same again. :) Thank you so much for adding some rocket fuel to this week's Tandem. ☼
ReplyDeleteThis took me back to my childhood when I would listen to the radio in bed. I loved the names in the shipping forecast. I didn't really know what it meant, but always listened.
ReplyDeleteSue J... I hope the Sea Areas map helped!
ReplyDeleteConsult Wiki and Google Maps for more detail on North and South Utsira.
Sea area Fitzroy used to be called Finisterre, but the French objected, with some justificsation, because Finisterre is also part of mainland France.
Wiki tells me that a "bight" (as in German Bight, see map) is a broad bay, traditionally "a bay that can be crossed in a sailing boat on a single tack, regardless of the wind direction." How do we survive without such knowledge!!
I remember Finisterre! We have the Great Australian Bight, but I don't know if you could cross it in a single tack. The roaring forties are down that way so maybe you could - from west to east perhaps. Full of white pointers, so I don't think I'd like to do it.
ReplyDeleteWV shicatm - my brain rearranged it into shitcam
Never underestimate a dragon.
ReplyDeleteVery sharp word play as usual Doctor...one might almost say sarper than a serpent's tooth.
ReplyDeleteWho knew dragons were so diverse?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant ...loved it and all those areas so familiar from the radio think you did a magical job ...thank you x x x
ReplyDeleteAh..I used to sing along with the shipping forecast to go to sleep when I was a kid. It was probably only eight in the evening but it was always dark in Scotland winter. Nice poem!
ReplyDelete