Tess at Willow Manor offers Jan Steen's 1665 picture "The Sick Woman" for our prompt this week.
The Doctor came. The Doctor said
"Madam, I think you're quick, not dead.
Are you breathless? How's your heart?
Is it noisy when you fart?
What's the colour of your rheum?
Have you something in your womb?
Does your hair grow straight or curly?
Do you go to bed quite early?
Is there scurf behind your ears?
Do you suffer midnight fears?"
"None of these" replied the wench.
"I've given my left wrist a wrench."
"Schimples!(*) Let's even up your plight!
I'll sprain the one left on the right."
He gave her other wrist a whack,
a truly unprovoked attack.
"Now both sides match you'll feel at ease.
And that's a hundred schillings(*), please."
(*) The Doctor was Austrian, but this fact is not strictly relevant.
Many worthier Magpies can be enjoyed here.