Oct 9, 2012

Quack Quack

Tess at Willow Manor offers Jan Steen's 1665 picture "The Sick Woman" for our prompt this week.

The Doctor came.  The Doctor said
"Madam, I think you're quick, not dead.
Are you breathless? How's your heart?
Is it noisy when you fart?
What's the colour of your rheum?
Have you something in your womb?
Does your hair grow straight or curly?
Do you go to bed quite early?
Is there scurf behind your ears?
Do you suffer midnight fears?"

"None of these" replied the wench.
"I've given my left wrist a wrench."

"Schimples!(*) Let's even up your plight!
I'll sprain the one left on the right."

He gave her other wrist a whack,
a truly unprovoked attack.
"Now both sides match you'll feel at ease.
And that's a hundred schillings(*), please."

(*) The Doctor was Austrian, but this fact is not strictly relevant.

Many worthier Magpies can be enjoyed here.


  1. No Doktor Freud ~~ this one!! Ouch!!!

  2. Oh no not a whack on the wrist...too....ouch...confess not I beg of her....! Run quickly! This was quite fun!

  3. First do no harm! I thought maybe he broke her funny bone!

    1. Are you hinting that I should give up writing this stuff? If I don't, who will?

  4. Excellent...a perfect perspective.

  5. Very amusing (my favourite so far this week)

  6. Excellent! I do like people who don't take these things too seriously (probably because I seem to be quite incapable). I love this one.

  7. Wonderful words to find in a Magpie offering! Scurf and rheum are certainly two complaints I'd prefer to avoid - didn't have much choice as regards curly hair! LOL

  8. What a brute, I had a doctor like that once.

  9. I love how you've blended the hint of angst with humor, the second line.

    Of course they always assume something in the womb. Great title, of course.

  10. Balance is the key to life many say, but unbalanced is so much more fun! Thank you for sharing some laughter Dr. =D

  11. I love Austrian doctors - they truly understand the need for balance...

    Excellent fun Dr F.

    Anna :o]

  12. Sounds like what my father used to say to me when I complained of a headache--"Want me to hit your arm? It'll make you forget about your head hurting!"

  13. ...yikes. That will teach her for calling him in the middle of the night for a house call. :)


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