Feb 17, 2015

"Are We There Yet?"

I hear on the Beeb that a short-list of 50 Males/50 Females has been selected for a one-way trip to Mars. One of the men apparently can remember pi to 90 digits, so they'll be able to calculate the circumference, surface area and volume of the Red Planet very accurately. The News item didn't say whether remembering pi to 90 digits was one of the selection criteria, but if it was, remembering 90 of the billions of digits to which pi is now known doesn't sound all that impressive a feat. 




Nor did the News item say if the 100 worthy folk included any medics or police. Both of these professions will be required because (statistically), of the 100, at least 4 will be criminal psychopaths who have (easily) bamboozled the learned psychiatrists and clairvoyants involved in the selection process.   I think the proposed expedition is the first stage in George W. Bush's scheme to "Colonise the galaxy"  after George W.Bush and his ilk have made Earth uninhabitable. Also, presumably all the successful candidates are under the age of 3 because they will be very, very old before they blast off from Florida in their converted Routemaster Bus . . . 

Chemical toilets will follow at a later date. Tesco have applied for planning permission.
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13 comments:

  1. Doctor FTSEFebruary 17, 2015 at 7:45 AM

    One of my Blogger Pals will see that this rant is too long for the book of "Mini Rants By Me" that she sent me last Saturday. Thank you, P.

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  2. JinksyFebruary 17, 2015 at 10:58 AM

    Only you, Doc, could shoot such a news item into the stratosphere of VSB while managing to include chemical toilets and Tesco into the bargain! How does your mind work?! LOL

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  3. Doctor FTSEFebruary 17, 2015 at 11:34 AM

    Thank you, Penny. My brain tries to hunt down the Very Silly aspects of these grandiose and harebrained schemes. I'll lay you an even tenner the trip doesn't take off in our lifetimes . . . or P and Q's . . . or B and F's, L and C's, Ch and M's.

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    Replies
    1. JinksyFebruary 17, 2015 at 5:33 PM

      Channel 5 news reckons on 2022...and the female they interviewed wanted to help 'colonise' Mars... Too close to an unpleasant association between that word, your chemical toilets and medical procedures.

      Delete
  4. Eddie BluelightsFebruary 17, 2015 at 12:37 PM

    Apparently they are only going to live for 68 days so why on Earth (or why on Mars) do they need a 50/50 split male/female? I think we should just sent George Bush there with Tony Blair . . . lol

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    Replies
    1. Doctor FTSEFebruary 17, 2015 at 2:42 PM

      There is one real advantage to Earthmen from the escapade, Eddie. At the end of it all there will be 100 fewer loonies on Earth. Imagine spending the last 2 months of your life in a Personal Life Support system/suit/module. They could do that down here if they started smokin' heavily.

      Delete
    2. Eddie BluelightsFebruary 17, 2015 at 4:45 PM

      I really can't fathom the mentality of any sane so-called intelligent young person willingly wanting to sacrifice themselves for the sake of maybe finding the odd Mars Bar . . . lol

      Delete
  5. Shoshanah MarohnFebruary 18, 2015 at 4:25 PM

    For some reason, I thought they were only going to pick 4 out of the 100, and then it was a two year mission... or am I just making this up?

    Hopefully, they won't be cancelled after they start, like Star Trek. (The first Star Trek said in the intro, "Our five year mission..." but then the show got cancelled after two or three years.)

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  6. PearlFebruary 19, 2015 at 1:21 PM

    I've no idea what's going on here, but is it too late to get in on this? I have multiple skills that should serve me well on the Red Planet, particularly the ability to drink innumerable G&Ts without falling off anything.

    Pearl

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  7. rhymeswithplagueFebruary 19, 2015 at 9:33 PM

    If George W. Bush ever said such a thing about the galaxy, surely he spelled it "Colonize"....

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  8. AnonymousMarch 6, 2015 at 2:51 AM

    great post
    very interesting

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  9. Other MaryApril 2, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    I think W would make a good candidate to send to Mars. Especially as it's a one way trip! Sorry I'm so late to the party, Doctor.

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  10. Other MaryMay 2, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    Yes, please send George W. and his brother Jeb too!

    ReplyDelete

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