Magpie Tales#67

Tender hearted Tess at Willow Manor says several writers asked her to use this picture for the prompt this week.  O.K . . which of yous guys wuz it?

DIRECTOR'S CUT

You guys don't like your Tudor kit?
Too bad, 'cos we've a film to shoot.
Will you stop fiddling with that lute
and try to concentrate? Is it
to much to ask? Address your task.
ACTION! Pretend to eat a bit
of stage-food pigeon. Then we'll shoot
the sword-fight. Great in Tudor kit.

Which half-wit cast that dozy broad?
Can she remember her next line?
What's that? She has none? Great. That's fine.
Maybe that's why she looks so bored . .
(Again that lute. Has he no mute?)
ACTION! The cost of filming's soared
because she's guzzled so much wine . .
Which slaphead cast that half-cut broad?

Now what's the matter with your glass?
You think it's cracked? Don't tempt me, Son!
Oh alright! Get a crack-free one.
Things would come to a pretty pass
if you got . . CUT! I wish I'd put
that cloth-eared lute man out to grass!
SOUND! ACTION! Can we please get on -
if  Dumbo's happy with his glass?

I sure do love the waiter's stance,
his servile manner, his trim build.
He knows his place. If soup got spilled
he'd cough discreetly, look askance . .
He's really sweet, short and petite . .
He loves the lute man? Not a chance!
He's the young lily I might gild.
Oh how I love that waiter's stance.

That beardo wears such silly shirts
Shirts? They're more like big girls' blouses.
He never plays to my packed houses.
He needs a good kick where it hurts.
(That lute dude needs two fingers rude!)
He doesn't speak lines, he just blurts
them - or grumbles, grunts and grouses.
Some weirdo! And some silly shirt.

All actors think they're really 'it'
think filming is a piece of cake,
think I'm the film-world's greatest fake,
think everything I've shot is sh*t!
(That f**k**g lute will feel my boot!)
ACTION YOU SWINE! You're all unfit
for acting! THIS IS ONE LAST TAKE!

I'M the Director and I. am. IT!

(Luke Prater at One Stop Poetry this week introduced poets to the "High Octain" extension of the Octain form.  The poem above extends the form even further and I claim the World Record (so far) for the "Skyscraper Octain." - 6 storeys.  An example of the "Bungalow Octain" can be found one post down.)

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