Luke Prater at ONESTOP POETRY deals this week with the "Octain" form and invites poets to try their hand . . oh well . . might as well.
THE DIRECTOR ASKS THE EXTRAS TO . .
. . . murmur "Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb!"
Troublemakers murmur "Custard!"
Witty rhymsters chime with "Mustard!"
Director in director's garb
yells "CUT! You prats in pointy hats!
I think you're all some sort of barb -
- arians! Surely it's not hard
to murmur "Barbrhu, barbrhu, Barb?' "
Very clever and artfully done. I like the reworking of the form. It gives the shape a different "feel". I also like the wrap of the word "barbarians". Well done, Gay
ReplyDeleteI once knew a very nice girl named Barbrhu... :)
ReplyDeleteI too knew a girl called Barbrhu
ReplyDeletewho said "I'm much nicer than you.
In fact, I'm so nice
that men look at me twice."
That's more than you can say about I.
(If I turned the last line right way round, someone not far away would kick my head in.)
ok - i murmur Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb...now and can't concentrate on the form any more...smiles. clever octain doctor ftse and good use of the form. there should be a stanza break between -this would also underline the content i think. well done!
ReplyDeleteI think you're all some sort of barb - and
- arians! Surely it's not hard
Claudia . . I think a stanza break where you suggest is no bad idea.
ReplyDeleteI think a coffee break is a good idea, too...
ReplyDeleteJinksy--love the limerick line! ;-) Dr.--you are a clever poet! ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh I love popping by here. All these clever people in one place!
ReplyDeletePearl
Doc . . you take "Very Silly" into a whole new landscape.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I have no clever comeback like the others, but I found that thing you did quite witty.
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me, Caddoc is a dab hand at growing rhubarb...I must tell him to come and read your masterful poem in praise of it...
ReplyDelete