Aug 13, 2013

A Dance To the Music of Time

Friends and followers who are aware that I have long been Numbered Amongst the Downtrodden might like to hear of my latest misfortune and who knows, leave a conciliatory comment below this post.


painting by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

This is what happened.  Accompanied by a fellow blogger who must remain nameless for reasons of anonymity and modesty, I or rather she and I, entered the Olde Timers' Dancing Competition, a sort of slowed down version of "Strictly Come Dancing." Contestants - who are not permitted to use zimmer frames or space-hoppers - must be in their xth decade where "x" is large and positive, and must enter in three categories, namely the St.Bernard Waltz(*), the stately Gavotte and to jazz things up a bit, the "Hands, Knees and Bumps-A-Mabel."  This is a variant of the better known "Hands, Knees and Bumps-A-Daisy." The variant was popularised in my, I should say our youth by the Edwardian master dancing-master Sir Lancelot Simpleforth-Jinks, known as High Jinks because of untreatable B.O.

All went well until we came to the last category when our chance of ending up on the medals rostrum came crashing to the ground. She bumps-a-mabeled - which is what we had rehearsed - but I lost the place and bumps-a-daisied more vigorously than usual. My partner hissed "Do a reverse cross-buttock! It's the only way out of this mess." But too late! We also came crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs and petticoats amid cries from the audience of "They're not Olde Timers!  They're in their second childhoods! Disqualify!  Disqualify!"

I tell you, folks, at my age life is no longer a breeze as I'm sure you'll agree.  I need a drink.

(*) This lumbering 3/4 is included to give Old Dogs a chance.

It's the Mag prompt and the unfailing Tess Kincaid who puts these ideas into me head.

14 comments:

  1. But it's me who might be suing you for defamation of character!!! A Jinks with B.O.? Whatever next!! This Jinksy is perfectly perfumed at all times, I'll have you know. But I love the story, anyway...Hehehe!

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    1. Whatever next? Whatever next? "In and Out the Windows" "The Hokey Cokey" The Dance of the Little Swans" Take yer pick.

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  2. YOU PROMISED! Promised I would never be implicated .... I won't be agreeing to be your dance partner any time again soon. It's over.

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    1. Sorry Helen, but you know what they say. " It isn't over till the Fat Lady sings!"

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    2. .. and you are implying what may I ask ??? :-)

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    3. I imply nothing! I left you a word of explanation for the "Fat Lady" phrase on your Mag. Please call again and I will partner you in the dance of your choice.

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  3. I must ask Ada and Caddoc about this Bumps-a-Daisy dance. Can any number of people join in at the same time I wonder? Might be good entertainment next time we have a party...

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    1. Definitely a game for two, Mr.T. Unless you regard M and D as separate entities, when we might agree that three is a crowd.

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  4. Is what I have heard true about the last time they had a jitterbug category, someone broke a hip?

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  5. hilarious as usual! You have such a way with words! Still laughing!

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  6. Thank you, Kathe W. And I agree! Away with words! They get in the way of the music and the dancers keep tripping over them.

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  7. I'm with Kathe on this one!.......Personally, I'm ex-ballerina.

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  8. I thought you would be something to do with stocks and shares, but I see this is a lot more fun:) Well penned.

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